i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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