I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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