So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
