I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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