Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just found puke in my bra..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
