I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize