im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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