I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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