i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
