it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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