all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
