Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize