awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
