She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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