just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
