College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
