he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
