there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want to make out with him forever
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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