So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
