READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
