I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
