a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am naked and annoyed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
