I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
