Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
