I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My balls are so social today.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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