My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
