shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I intend to get homeless drunk
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
