Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you win again, gameday.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
