Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
