My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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