I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
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