20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
