You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
