Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
