I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
