just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
