I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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