We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
