rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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