Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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