i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
