let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
