ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
