Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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