I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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