I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
