was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
