no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love you. Go after that dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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