I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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