That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
