The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
im six kinds of drunk right now
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
