His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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