I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
