It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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