Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
