Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
