Whod you bang
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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