she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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