Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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