She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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