Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
