Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize