i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
